why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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