we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
