I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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