think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
