Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
