her facebook's as public as her vagina
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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