wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
