I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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