true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
