Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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