I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize