There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
