i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
