he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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