she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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