he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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