I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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