You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
