My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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