Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
