The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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