The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
