very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
