tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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