you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
