Where are you?
In a non slutty way
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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