so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
my poor anus
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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