We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
