Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
