Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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