suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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