I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
