There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
