btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize