I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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