Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Four minutes until I can fart!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's just like the Real World with babies
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
