No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
