Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
