At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
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Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize