Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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