I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
