Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
operation harelip BJ is a go
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There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
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looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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