I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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