and i looked up. we had an audience...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
