Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
