Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
