You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
