I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize