he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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