Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
