it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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