Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
