I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize