You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
