you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
