i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
