it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
