I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
