I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
