Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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