Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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