just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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