Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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