Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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