She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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